Let me first say I am way wiser than I was. Let me also say, we've all done something dumb for love. Let me continue to say, I've grown.
Around the age of 25 I met a guy. I met a guy that I really thought I would marry. No joke. We had been dating for some time and he hit me with the, "how much do you love me speech?" Let me explain. In having friendships with exes and also being diligent about having conversations about what went wrong once it's over, I am usually told the same truth from all men. "I just never thought you were that into me." What's funny is even when I am told that truth by multiple exes, it still shocks the same. Because in my mind I feel like I gave my all, or should I say I gave what I thought was my all. I thought I was being overly attentive, overly loving and downright annoying but apparently they tell me I wasn't. One of my exes told me I acted like I didn't need him, to which I responded I didn't. But not in a, I don't need you kind of way but in a if you decide today to leave, I will move on too kind of way.
But anyway let me get back to the story. I just needed to give that point so you understand why I was asked this question, "How much do you love me?" So I told him I loved him with every fiber in my being. (Don't roll your eyes, I DID!) I spent every free minute with him. I was a senior in college working two jobs and still did the movie thing, dinner thing, basketball thing, etc thing. I also brought him around my family, which I never do. I'm like a guy in that aspect, it's gotta be extremely serious for you to meet anyone. He says okay, well if you love me, get my name tattooed on you.
Now listen, I thought about it and said, of course I will. And in the time leading up to it I never questioned or doubted getting the tattoo. And this was going to be my FIRST TATTOO EVER. Now looking back, I am shocked and appalled that I didn't tell him to get my name tattooed too. Maybe God was trying to save me. So, I am finally sitting at the tattoo shop with a drink in my hand looking at my best friend like, "You gonna let me do this?" Meanwhile she was looking at me like," I can't believe this fool is going to do this." I sat in the chair and told the artist, I want this name on my lower back. He chuckled and prepared the artwork then showed me the placement and we began. He placed his needle in the ink, and started writing on my back. After he finishes the first letter of the name, I say STOP! He asks if I am okay and tells me he is not finished. I said I know, but I am and this is dumb as hell. I began to think about this relationship going up shits creek and trying to figure out how to explain to every man after him why in the hell I decided to get this tattoo.
The only letter he completed was L, which thank the Lord God Almighty is the initial of my middle name. I told the tattoo artist to just leave it, I'm good. Maybe one day I will come back and either finish my initials or write another word. LOL But ummmm, I never went back. I mean I went back but for my other 10 tattoos though. You are probably thinking, what did you tell your boyfriend? Well I told him what any other amazing girlfriend would say. I got your first initial boo, it's all about you, I told you I loved you. He kind of believed it but after we broke up he said he knew that the tattoo was not for him. I just laughed, literally out loud.
#dearEx it all worked out.