A Letter to My Mom..

I’ve literally sat down to write this letter my entire life. Okay maybe not my entire life but probably since I turned 30. When I turned 30, the way I saw my mom shifted. Usually this shift happens when you have your own children because now you understand motherhood. But, I don’t have any kids so that revelation doesn’t apply to me. However, the adjustment still happened. I began to really appreciate and understand my mom’s entire life. I appreciated all the sacrifices she made and understood that she didn’t do that because she had to but because it was who she was. 

I remember when my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I can recall standing in the kitchen with my brothers as he told us with my mom by his side. I can visualize her strength and reassurance in that moment and the moments to come that everything was going to be okay.  My dad went the holistic route and had to completely change his diet. No meat, no sugar, juicing some days, and fasting others. My mom changed her whole life to make sure dad was well taken care of. Was it a sacrifice? I am sure it was. But you would never know it. She never once complained, she just loved my dad. My mom never seemed worried or sad about the diagnosis. Her belief in God kept her grounded. As much as cancer scares people and causes many to lose faith, my mom made sure we didn’t allow those feelings to penetrate our family. She remained strong not only for my dad but for us. 

Recently the cancer took a turn and my dad had to undergo radiation. Again my dad had to change his diet to white bread, white potatoes and broccoli. And again my mom loved my dad and made sure he was well taken care of. 26 days at the hospital for the procedures and my mom was there, 26 days. She never missed a day, she never missed an appointment, she never missed a beat. She never complained. She never murmured. She just loved. 

You see this love that she gives my dad opened my eyes to remind me of the love I’ve received my entire life. It’s crazy how we can see other experiences and it click to us memories of our own experiences. I am reminded of all the times my mom has taken care of me and not once has she complained. Every time I was sick, she would make me tea & wheat toast & love me back to health. Every time I've moved away she would call, text, & send cards just to say she loved me. Every time I went away and came back home she would welcome me with a little note and countless hugs & kisses. Every time I was struggling she made sure to comfort me and give me peace that things are going to work out.  No matter my attitude, no matter in the absence of a thank you, she always showed up. She changed her life for me and for that I will forever be thankful. I am in awe of her strength. I am in awe of her love. I am in awe of her peace. I am in awe of her ability to overcome. I am always in awe.  

I can’t thank you enough for hurting when I hurt, celebrating me when I couldn’t cheer for myself, loving me when I didn’t know my worth, encouraging me when I was down on myself, finding me when I was lost, never giving up when I had reached my end, but most importantly thank you that being a mom was always enough for you. 

#dearMom I love you and you really are the Greatest of All Time.