Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21
I always understood the power of my words, but I never truly cared about the power of others words.
I am super conscious of how I speak to people. I spend a lot of time thinking, analyzing, role playing, before I say anything. Why? I think it's because I over analyze everything. It's such a process in my brain to not only hear what someone is saying, but understand it and then respond in a way that they can receive my words. My second reason would probably be because I know my words have the ability to build someone or destroy them. I never want someone to leave my space and feel hurt, judged, or beat down after our encounter, unless that is my intention, LOL. I am mindful that their perception is their reality and I want to make sure we are aligned in my delivery. What's crazy is, even with all of that in depth concern I applied to myself, I never put that same standard on how people speak to me, or speak about me.
I recognized this dark truth one day when someone I know was rattling off about girls with weaves and lace fronts. If you've been around for awhile you know that I suffer from Alopecia and have a completely bald head, but I rock wigs, weaves, lace fronts, hats, etc. Anyway, this person ranted on about men who are with women with weaves, wigs, etc have to be worried about what they look like when that comes off and so on and so on. I remember the day like it happened yesterday. I was sitting at my desk at work and tears weld up in my eyes. I was trying to fight back the tears but like a flood I couldn't stop. I left my desk and went for a walk outside and like a preview to a movie, every hurt word rushed over me. Every bad thing someone said about my hair, every joke that was made just wrapped around me like a heavy blanket weighing me down.
It was in that moment that I realized that I need to be careful about others words as much as I am about my own. As much as I am mindful about what I say, I need to be mindful about what I hear. Of course avoiding negative talk completely is impossible, but you still have the control to control it. Don't allow others around you that can break your spirit. We all think we are strong and nothing can break us but that is far from the truth. Whether you break is not the question, it's when you do what will you do to recover? How will you keep this from happening again?
So I decided that day, I can not surround myself with people who don't understand the power of their words. Or even worse, be around those who don't care about that power and speak dead things regardless of how it destroys. Just know that if we never speak again, it's nothing against you, I just want to avoid as many sunny dark days as possible.
#dearWords I choose Life